Yolanda may have felt alone on the playing field, but she was far from it. The number of women living alone has doubled to 14.6 million, and the number has nearly tripled for men, jumping from 3.5 million to 10.3 million.With so many single adults out there, one might guess that there's also a lot of dating going on."Tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to be home, and meet for coffee in a public place," suggests Dr. He may have seemed great, but loses interest, or is dating someone else, or has problems you will never know about.Kirschner."Four out of five men you go out with will disappear," says Dr. Don't take it personally, and instead try to remember that if you're meeting a lot of people, the number of bad apples will go up—but so will the odds that you'll meet a few good apples, too. Kirschner recommends, at least to start with, dating several guys at the same time.Yolanda's self-esteem was so damaged by her tumultuous breakup that she worried about her ability to start a new relationship, not to mention her rusty dating skills.And the pool of single men looked more like a droplet compared with the ocean available to her during her younger years. Census Bureau, approximately nine in 10 people will marry, but about one half of first marriages end in divorce.Maybe one guy is very funny, but you enjoy another man's intellectual stimulation.
Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .Read on for 10 tips that will help you get back in Cupid's good graces.Whether it's been one year or six since the divorce decree, you may never know with absolute clarity that you're truly ready for another relationship.Contemplating the dating scene, many divorced women feel not just garden-variety nerves, but "actual terror," says Dr. Just remember that your fears are normal—after all, you are dealing with or have dealt with a major betrayal and upheaval—and that you don't have to jump all the way in. Tell a few trusted friends that you're interested in meeting people. "Sit down and craft a statement of what, exactly, you're after. If you feel the same way, she offers this advice: "I suggest you try to reframe it as an adventure, or as an education," she says.Accept invitations to parties."While it's not unheard of for a woman wounded by a painful divorce to make statements like "all men are jerks" or "all the good ones are taken," that's obviously not a good mindset to have going into dating, says Dr. "That kind of thinking can tank your mood—and cause you to limit your chances of getting out there and finding love." By forcing yourself to keep your negative thoughts in check, you'll soon be in the habit of thinking optimistically, which will in turn make you more ready to date again. You've decided to start dating—isn't that your "intention" right there? "Dating can be a way to sharpen your social skills, too." And, of course, a way to get out of the house and have some fun!