For instance, turn off their computer, unplug the television, take away their car keys, or ground them for a week.If you have a good relationship and you’ve clearly identified the boundaries, they’ll be expecting some form of punishment.Another common cause for rebellion is when a teen is trying to exert their independence in a home where independence is not allowed. The best thing to do when you see rebellion in your teen is to first look at what may be impeding your relationship.Could it be that you are still treating them like a child and need to give them a few more freedoms?Apply Boundaries and Consequences When I was a teen, consequences for my “rebellion” usually took the form of my dad taking off his belt and whacking me.I’m not suggesting that for your teen (or for any teen).If your teen’s behavior has become dark, secretive, explosive, or otherwise abnormal, it’s time that you get them in to see a counselor. As I’ve pointed out, deep rebellion usually has deep causes, and it can take a lot of digging by a trained counselor to get to the root of it.
But when my relationship with my parents soured, I began to think things were never going to get any better. I intentionally got bad grades and got in trouble over little things, like going out with friends when I wasn’t supposed to.Then, one day in the middle of a fight, I started cussing out my parents really bad.I had never done that before, and I knew something wasn’t right, and getting worse.” Rebellion can be a sign that something is seriously wrong in the relationship or that there has been damage to the teen’s feelings of value and self-worth.Or, has something happened in your child’s life, even unbeknownst to you, that is affecting them? She said, “I’m struggling with my daughter who has suddenly become rebellious. And by definition, they are still a bit irresponsible.For instance, she was to meet me after the third quarter of the basketball game, but she didn’t show up until after the fourth quarter and had gone to her locker, which I told her was off limits for the evening.” The mother was quite dismayed, wondering if she should get her daughter into counseling or send her to a therapeutic program like Heartlight for her “rebellion.” My response was, “I really don’t think she is being rebellious. She is impulsive and maybe gets a little distracted, but it doesn’t seem as though it was an intentional plan on her part to make you upset or go against your rules.” I went on to give her some ideas for helping remind her teen of the rules and established timetables. Part of the new “normal” today is the shorter attention spans of young people.